A Response to a Comment on my "Uh-Oh" Club (for women only) post

“I don't understand the point of this type of correction if it's with people who don't even profess Christianity. Seems like a side issue if they aren't saved. If they dress modestly but still go to hell, what good have I done? Modesty is a heart issue, it will automatically follow repentance at some point in a believer's life. As believers, we need to have compassion on the lost and let that compassion drive us to share the gospel with them. Focusing instead on modesty is getting side-tracked. – Ginger”

Ginger, thank you for commenting. And thank you for your patience in receiving this response. I have been planning 3 "Transformed" Conferences, 1 Deeper Conference, a Psalm 119 Conference, preparing for a speaking engagement in California, answering a bucket full of emails, serving my husband and the local church, and blogging comes somewhere after feeding my dog, Baby.

You said that it, "Seems like a side issue if they aren't saved." You’re right, it is a side issue. I'm glad you recognize it as an "issue". Abortion is a side issue. But it is an issue - a huge issue.

In my post, did you notice that I encouraged ladies to hand them a "tract" (these contain a gospel message) and better yet, to "talk" to them. While talking to them, bring them through the law and give them the good news of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I apologize if I wasn’t clear in my first post. I can see how you may have thought that I was sounding an alarm for every Christian woman to be the “Modesty Police”. I'm not the best with words. So thank you for understanding. Just for clarification, my aim is to encourage Christian ladies to pass out tracts and evangelize one - 2 - one (that is the first priority) and also when it is appropriate (and using good discernment) to say something about inappropriate dress - even if it is a small "Uh-Oh" as you hand them a tract. We can never assume that someone meant to dress immodestly on purpose. So a discreet “Uh Oh” may be all it takes. In my post, did you notice that the young lady thanked me for doing this. She sounded genuinely thankful. But she may have been thanking me for the tract. Make no mistake, the Gospel is always the priority. You are spot on there.

You'd be surprised how many ladies I have talked to about the Lord that start to cover up about half way through the Gospel presentation. I didn't even have to mention their immodesty.

In my post, I failed to point out that my dear friend, Kristen, was with me. I said “Uh Oh” in a whisper like fashion as I discreetly pointed that I don’t think Kristen (who was standing right next to me) heard or saw what I did. The way I wrote, in my first post, may have communicated that I was on a loud speaker when I said “Uh Oh" and by no means was this the case.

Many women that I have personally talked to at various places like the University Campus, at Walmart, Ross, the 99 cent store, the Post Office, at Down Town Fort Worth, and at the Southlake Town Square, “profess” to “know” Christ but have adopted the really low cut shirt standards that the world espouse. So one idea might be to simply ask them if they are a Christian, if they say yes, gently show them the way more accurate in meekness and in love (1Tim 2:9-10). Maybe they are not receiving proper instruction at their local church and perhaps God wants to use you to speak into their lives. It may sting them. Sometimes words that are true sting. They hurt at first, but “better is an open rebuke than hidden love” (Proverbs 27:5).

Remember if you are a Christian you are the salt of the earth, you are the and light of the world.

Listen to what John MacArthur has to say about Matt 5:13-14:

“Salt stings. Not only is it white and adds flavor, it has a medicinal or healing property when put into a wound. So some say that the Lord is saying, "Believers are not to be honey to soothe the sinful world, you are to be salt in the world, so whenever you see a place where there is a problem, you should just throw yourselves in and make it sting." I like that. I don't think we do near enough of that. I think we just want to drip honey on everyone, and we figure that if we never offend, if we just go along in life, it will be alright. If we gloss it over and let it be the way it is, nobody will get upset and everyone will say, "Oh, those Christians are so loving and tolerant of us." But there is never a clear definition of a distinction, you see. We're not honey, we're salt…

The heart of man is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. This is Jesus' view, the view of any thinking person. Any evolutionist would have to be blind to reality to think human society is on the ascent. It isn't true. So our Lord is saying that since we have a decaying, corrupted society shrouded in darkness, this society needs salt to retard the corruption and light to brighten the darkness. The presupposition, the darkness and decay of the world…

God has a plan. The plan is the dominion of the disciples. He sets us up in the world as a holy priesthood, a kingdom of priests, as kings and priests. He says, "I'm giving you dominion, I'm giving you a restored dominion that man lost in the Fall. You are My kings, and you are My vice-regents, you are My princes in the world. You are My priests and prophets in the world, and your job is to retard the corruption and bring light to the darkness.

You know what's so sad about it? Instead of the church influencing the world this way, the church is influenced by the world. The very things we talked about this morning, and what we've talked about in the past, we become victimized. Remember when we talked about the crises of Christianity and how the church has fallen victim to so many trends in human society? It's ludicrous what the church permits under the influence of the world.

So what is the plan? Verse 13. "You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. Let your light so shine before men." Guess who has the responsibility? You! To whom does the 'you' refer? I believe it refers to the disciples, the believers; they are the agents of divine transformation. They are the ones who are salt and light.

Not only are we to retard the corruption, but we are to manifest the truth, both a negative and a positive. By our influence, we retard corruption. By our verbalization and our living, we manifest the truth. So you have here the influence of a silent testimony and the impact of a verbal and living testimony. Our salt influence may be silent and hidden as salt was rubbed into meat to preserve it. But our light influence has to be open and ablaze in the way we live and in the manifestation of verbalizing the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

"Uh-Oh" Club - for ladies only

Each Thursday my friend Kristen and I go to a local University and witness to students. A couple weeks ago as we walked into the campus cafeteria a young student was walking out. I couldn't help but notice how horribly low her shirt was. I quickly handed her a tract and said, "Did you get one?" She took it. Then, in a low horrified voice, I covered my mouth and said to her, "Uh Oh!" as I pointed several times at her chest area. She frantically looked down, as if she had no idea, and started buttoning everything up. Then she responded, "Thanks." I wonder how long she walked around the campus with her shirt like that -without anyone saying a word.

Yesterday, when I got home from evangelism, this was in my inbox from, Kristen:

I went to a fast food restaurant today, one where you drive up and order your food, and then a carhop brings it to your car. As I was contemplating what to order, I noticed three guys looking at one of the female carhops that was on roller skates. As she rolled by me, I saw exactly why they were looking at her. Her shorts were the shortest shorts I have ever seen on a human being, and everything in the rear was showing. Immediately, I thought, “I have to do something! Like leave this place! I don’t even know this girl, how can I correct her attire? Surely, one of her co-workers will say something.” My panic attack lasted about thirty seconds, and then I knew that I had to be the one to say something to her. Clearly, none of her co-workers had, and they weren’t going to. So, I placed my order and waited for her to bring it out. But a different girl began walking toward me with my order. Lord, could this get any more awkward? Now You expect me to ask the carhop that brought my food to tell Shorty-Shorts to come over to my car? Needless to say, that’s exactly what I did and she came skating over. I couldn’t even look up as she was rolling toward me; I knew this was going to be painful for both of us. I had never said anything to anybody about their dressing immodestly, so I had no idea what I was going to say. “Yes ma’am?” she said.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that those guys were kind of gawking at you, and I think it’s because your shorts are so short. I’m sure you didn’t realize. Just thought you would want to know, because I know I don’t like it when guys gawk at me.”

“Oh, thank you. It’s because my shorts are too big, and they kept falling down, so I had to belt them up high.”

“Well, I just thought you would want to know, because I don’t like guys gawking at me either,” I said again for some reason.

“Well, thank you.” And she rolled away.

Now, I have no idea if she made any adjustments to her shorts or not because I left rather quickly, but at least I said something. Driving away I thought of all the things I should have said and done, but in my nervousness totally forgot about, such as handing her the gospel tract that I had in my lap at the ready. But I didn’t kick myself too badly because it was my first time confronting someone in this way, and I knew, that just like with evangelism, it would get a little easier each time. -Kristen

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If you're reading this and you can relate in any way to these two accounts but you've been nervous to say anything, just know you are not alone. There are now two of us doing this and if you start that will make 3! :-)

Join the "Uh-Oh" Club. And I'm not joking. I want to hear from you. Here's what you can do, the next time you see a lady that is dressed in an immodest fashion: Hand her a tract and say something to the effect of, "Here, this is for you." Or you can say, "Did you get one of these." And then point to the immodest area and with a horrified look, say "Uh -Oh". And better yet, perhaps you can talk to her. Either way, I'd like to hear what happens. Either send me an email (email [at] fishwithtrish.com) or post below.

Confronting someone in this way is not easy. But don't forget, that just like with evangelism, it will get easier each time.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Trish


"Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever." Daniel 12:3 (italics mine)

"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise." Proverbs 11:30

Jeans or No Jeans? That is the question.

"Hi Trish, when the Bible says "modest apparel," do you think that it means that women shouldn't wear jeans or any pants in general? I don't wear those "skinny" jeans that are popular today, but just your average Levi's. Would you (or should I say would God) think that they are acceptable for a woman to wear? Most of the women in my conservative church wear skirts most of the time, even when they aren't in church. " Bridget

Bridget, Thank you for inquiring. There are modest jeans and immodest jeans, to say jeans are a sin is to go further than Scripture and thus legalism. Just remember that we are always in the presence of God and should dress to show our reverence to Him, no matter where we are going (1 Cor 10:31).

Personally, I typically don't where jeans or pants. I have several pairs in my closet but I'm not very comfortable wearing them. I tend to wear skirts a lot though. They are comfortable and fit almost any occasion. As I'm typing this, I have one on. And the green one in the picture featured in the post is my favorite.

I may have taken my 'skirt' wearing to the extreme, however. For sometime now, I've wanted a leaf blower for my yard but spending $40 was out of the question. So like a good steward, I found one on Craigslist for $10! Not a bad deal.

My husband looked at the picture online and thought it seemed decent so he bought it for me, brought it home, and like a good husband he tested it out first. It was super loud. No wonder it was inexpensive.

He blew a few leaves out of the garage and then I gave it a whirl. Oh wait; did I mention I was planning on doing yard work wearing my favorite skirt? 30 seconds later my skirt was sucked up into the engine of the obnoxiously loud leaf blower. Now I know why it was so inexpensive. There was no engine cover! The lesson that day was twofold: there are some things you don’t buy on Craigslist and don’t garden in a skirt, especially your favorite one.

Picture above: Taken in front of Yad VaShem in Jerusalem (Holocaust History Museum). I just got through witnessing to this young lady who was with a group of people called "Walk About Love".

Facebook Evangelism – Trisha Ramos

No doubt our Facebook pages can be a witnessing tool for the Gospel and with the advancement of modern technology and all the various social media venues, we don’t even have to leave the house to be a witness for the Lord. In fact Facebook, in particular, is a great way to reach many people at once by quoting bible verses that tell of the Lord's wondrous deeds and that call people to turn from their sins and trust in the Savior, Jesus Christ. Don't get me wrong, I realize that there are many other reasons why we have Facebook pages (networking, business reasons, etc) and I'm sure there various things that we post about our daily lives, but in the midst of it all, honoring the Lord and proclaiming the gospel should be in the forefront for the follower of Christ.

To make this more clear, when you accept a friend on Facebook, typically the very first thing they do is view your pictures. In fact, sometimes that's all they may do. They quickly skim through them to see how you look and what you’ve been up to for the past decade or two and then off they go, onto the next person’s page. It reminds me of the ol' adage, "a picture is worth a thousand words." This saying refers to the idea that a picture communicates something. Sometimes it communicates too much. So with that in mind, when was the last time you went through your Facebook pictures and asked yourself, "Is this modest?" or "What am I communicating to my 'friends'?" and “Would I want my brothers and sisters in Christ looking at theses pictures?”

Ladies, this is especially for us. If you are a professing Christian and if you haven't done this already, here’s something practical that you can do: Go through every picture on your Facebook (This may take time depending upon how many pictures you have, but it will be worth it since on Judgment Day you will give an account to the Lord for all of these things) and if you are dressed in an immodest manner, hit 'Delete!'

If you need help with deciphering what is modest and what is immodest, ask a modest sister in your local church for help, or a godly older women who can give you wise counsel, or ask your husband (assuming that he has biblical standards for modesty). And if all else fails and you have no one else to go to, well then, there's always me and I'll be quick to toot my modesty horn.

For starters, here's a few specific areas that might help you out, let's begin with cleavage. Ladies, if you are showing cleavage, hit 'Delete' as fast as you can! I don't care how "cute" you look or if someone else posts the pic of you or if it was way back in your BC (before Christ) days. This is not acceptable in any circumstances for a woman who professes to follow Christ. Simply delete the picture or 'Un-tag' yourself.

If you have photos of you or your friends in bikinis, hit 'Delete' as quickly as you can and don't look back. Or if your mid (midriff) section is showing hit 'Delete' please. And short shorts are a no no, so you know what to do with that, 'Delete, delete, delete'. And then check your heart and ask yourself, "What is it within me that desires to present myself in this manner?” and “What does this speak of the condition of my heart?”

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel..." 1 Timothy 2.9a

Discernment & Street Reality - Trisha Ramos with Kristen Rasor

No doubt you have been to the zoo, or some place like it, and seen a pack of wolves. In that setting they look and act much like our sweet and friendly pet dogs at home. So, it can be somewhat hard to believe that if we were to step over the protective barrier separating us from them, that they would want to kill us. Their desire to kill us would not be obvious at first because they would not immediately lunge at us; instead they would carefully eye us, then slowly get up and begin circling us. In an instant, they would go from reminding us of our beloved pet, to reminding us of the reason for the protective barrier.

Street witnessing can be much the same in that people at a distance appear to be as friendly and harmless as we are, and it’s not until we start talking to them that we are able to discern if we should continue our witnessing efforts, or if they are preparing to circle us like a pack of wolves. But why would that be? We have good news! Scripture tells us that “the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing”, and Jesus warns us in Matthew 10:16 of the hostility we will face when sharing it when he says, “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” These two scriptures alone tell us not to be naïve into thinking that everyone with a smile on their face is embracing what we are saying. And, we women in particular must make it a point to be more aware of this then men simply because we are more vulnerable. Here are a few things for us ladies to keep in mind when we are witnessing on the streets:

First and foremost, never go out on the streets alone to witness. Follow the example Jesus set in Mark 6:7 when he sent the disciples out two by two; always have at least one other person with you.

Second, resolve in your heart to dress modestly. This is key! Never dress in a way that would call more attention to yourself than to God. Modest women must live for the glory of another. They must live for the glory of God. This means that the Christian women’s chief aim in life is to call attention to the beauty of God and not themselves. Make sure that you are seeking Christ’s approval - when you dress - and not man’s approval, which will always disappoint. Before you leave the house to go out and share the gospel, make sure you look in the mirror and ask yourself, "Would Christ be pleased with what I am wearing?" You never want to tempt your fellow co-labors in the gospel or unbelievers that you are witnessing to. Make sure you are dressed in a manner that represents the Lord well. If you are still not sure if your outfit is modest, ask a modest sister from church for her opinion. Or if you are married, ask your spouse (this presupposes that your husband has a high standard on modesty as we are called to have by the Word of God).

Third, always heed the warnings of the Holy Spirit. He is like our protective barrier, and if we “step over” him we can find ourselves in serious trouble. He guides us in the way we should go, so if something doesn’t feel right, it’s time to end the conversation, hand the person a gospel tract, and move on. Here’s an example of what to say: “What is your name again? Steve, I appreciate you talking with me (hand him a tract), be sure and read the back when you get a chance.”

Finally, consider your surroundings before approaching a group, especially a group of guys. Different atmospheres create different attitudes. For example, a college campus during the day is safer than the city downtown at night.

If you are new to witnessing, it can be difficult at first to discern if someone is genuine or not in his or her conversation with you. If possible, have an experienced person with you for a while until you are comfortable witnessing one-to-one.

Go! Share the Gospel
One Person at a Time

Nailing Down Good Works

I was cleaning out my garage recently and found some old high school pictures. They immediately brought back memories of how consumed I was with the way I looked. It was so bad that I kept a detailed daily journal of what I wore to make sure that I didn’t repeat the same outfit within a two month period or more. Talk about vanity. I wanted to make sure I had the perfect outfit and that I never repeated it too often, lest I get criticized by my peers. Maintaining my image was important. Talk about living for man's approval (Prov 25:29). That was before God saved me.

As Christians, we still can get caught up in the web of the world and buy into what the world says a woman should be. If we're not careful to keep a watch on our life and on our doctrine, we can be quickly swept away into the current of ungodly philosophies which rob us of our time and energy—things which aren’t eternal and are quickly fading away (Prov 31:30).

I love to surround myself with ladies that are rich in good works and not focused on themselves. I'm reminded of the ladies at the Tuesday night Bible study I attend. They are full of encouragement and desire to be women of the Word. After I leave the teaching, I'm inspired to be a more godly Christian, wife and friend. This results in me conjuring up ways to bless my husband and those around me. The Bible explains to us that "bad company corrupts good morals" (1 Cor 15:33). If you surround yourself with ladies that are focused on vain things, more than likely you will find yourself becoming vain. So choose your friends wisely.

The Bible also gives very stern warnings against both conceit and putting too much focus on our outward appearance. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others" (Phil 2: 3-4). When we focus on ourselves, our vision is blurred and our life is sapped. But when we focus on the Lord and plunge our self in the daily reading of the Word of God and spend our time doing good works for His Kingdom, we have a purpose that is clearly eternal and brings us joy. It's what we're made for: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

Let's be ladies that bring meals to those in need, who visit the orphan and widow during their time of distress, who make a phone call and pray for the sister who is having a tough time, who send an encouraging email to the person God laid on your heart this morning. There are so many ways we can look out for the interests of our brothers and sisters.

I've been to the nail salon less than a hand full of times and half of those times were gifts. It's such a nice treat to get pampered and have someone else do your nails. The ladies at the salon do a good job of painting them to perfection. Since I'm a penny pincher, I buy a .99 cent bottle of polish and do them myself. As I write this, I have the remnants of silver polish on my fingers (see pic above). It's probably been a month since I've painted them. So much for keeping my nails maintained.

Some ladies go to the salon twice a month and pay good money to maintain their fingers and toes. Others go once a week because they want them to look perfect all the time. The Bible says that women who profess godliness will be careful to maintain "good works" (1 Tim 2:9-10). Maintaining good works should be a greater priority than maintaining our nails, our wardrobe, our hair or our image. The Bible says to be careful to maintain good works for the glory of God. Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with getting your nails or hair done or wearing nice clothes, but let's be ladies that are known for our godliness rather than our large variety of outfits. Let's be ladies that are more concerned about maintaining good works than maintaining our nails.

If the Son has set you free than you are free indeed (John 8:36).

A lady I don't want to model

Recently, I was on a flight from DFW to LAX and where a lady in the aisle across from me was reading People magazine. I was engulfed in Radical by David Platt but my eyes needed a break. I glanced over to see her gazing at immodest pictures of celebrities. Though probably in her mid-60's, the lady was dressed like a teenager. It definitely wasn't fitting. It broke my heart to think of her wasting her life, her time, and her energy on a worthless magazine. I could only imagine that she wanted to be young again and was coveting the beauty of the world’s most famous people.

The Bible says that “everyone at their best state is a vapor” (Psalm 39:5). Life is short. Beauty is quickly passing and so are the lusts of this world. When I’m 65—if the Lord allows me to see that age—I want to be studying the Word of God, listening to sermons, reaching the lost, doing service for the local Church and spending my minutes, hours and days consumed with the Kingdom of God and service to the King. I don’t want to be consumed with myself or the eye candy of our age, because it doesn't last and will never satisfy (Proverbs 27: 20).

People magazine is not to be the godly woman’s diet. The godly woman doesn't listen to the counsel of Vogue magazine. She takes no delight in reading worldly advice in Cosmopolitan and doesn't compare herself to the pictures in Glamour magazine. She does not seek praise from the world.

Rather, a woman who fears the Lord will meditate on the Word of God day and night. She will compare herself to what the Bible says is a woman who fears God. She will hunger and thirst for righteousness and desire to know the One who redeemed her. That woman will be worthy of praise. "How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night" (Psalm 1:1).

This Christmas season, take the time to evaluate if there are things in your life that you look at or watch that are creating in you a desire to be like this world. Are you giving those things your precious time and energy? Instead, be like King David who said “I will set no evil thing before my eyes” (Psalm 101:3)? My challenge to you this season and for all the days of your life is to model the psalmist who said, “I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart" (Psalm 40:8).

Take a moment and go to FishWithTrish.com. Look on the left-hand side of the page, then click on “2 Minute Evangelism Tips”. The first video will start automatically. The short clips featured on this page will give you practical ways to be busy about God’s business during this Christmas season - in fact, make sure you look for the Christmas video. You might want to try the tip featured on this video with your church friends or family members.

Maybe you’re reading this and thoughts of discouragement have entered your mind because the year is almost gone and you feel like you haven’t made any progress for God’s kingdom. Be encouraged friend, because it’s not how well you start but how well you finish. On the “2 Minute Evangelism Tips” page, there are only 7 videos only 2 minutes in duration each. It will take only 14 minutes to watch all of them. Once you do, I encourage you to try one of the tips. Then email me and tell me what happened (email@fishwithtrish.com). I want to hear from you.

Each day when the mail comes, I quickly identify what is junk and what is not. I sift out what is important and shred what isn't. Maybe you need to do this with what you watch and look at or where you spend your valuable time. Identify what is good for your soul and builds you up and spend your time and energy there. Paul the apostle said, "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify" (1 Corinthians 10:23). Maybe there's something in your life that isn't sin per se, but is it beneficial for you? Would the Lord be pleased with what pages you are viewing on the internet? Or how much time you spend looking at photos on Facebook that provoke you to covet the way others look, or to covet their things or status in life?

Perhaps it's time to do inventory of the magazines or books or internet pages you read and throw some things out. Today is a new day. Remember, the Lord's mercies are new every morning. He is rich in mercy and full of compassion (Psalm 148:8). Cry out to Him today and ask Him to help you be a focused and purposeful woman who fears Him. Let’s be ladies that are focused on eternal things this Christmas—things that will be of eternal value on the day when we meet the King of Kings (Titus 3:8).

"No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier" (2 Timothy 2:4).