Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Missionary Dating. Is it okay?

I'm dating this Muslim guy, and after my ex's, which have been Muslim too, I thought I would never date another. I know what I want in my future husband and to have him believe and practice my faith as well. He is completely an awesome guy and I do love him. NOTHING like my past relationships. Ive made it clear I WILL NOT MARRY anyone who isn't Christian. So he's told me he loves me as well and would love to learn, look into Christianity and has been doing research on his own as well. Def. would love to bring him to services with me....Ive also questioned his converting.. if that's what he chooses, I would not want it to be because of me solely and that he would want to on his own. I know he cant get to heaven though ME! My question. Do I wait? Or know this will end terribly and end it now? I'm just so confused and thought I could come to you for some advice! - TBS

Dear TBS,

<will end terribly and end it now?>>

My advice and the bibles advice: Don’t date him. But rather, witness to him and then keep your distance. If he is a true convert, invite him to church (to meet you there) and that is the only context in which I would see him. Then you’ll see if he is serious about the Lord. If he continues to go for a long period of time and demonstrates genuine repentance, it might be evidence that he is going because of the Lord and not just for you.

Remember, there is no such thing as “missionary” dating. We don’t date to convert. Don't “date” him in hopes that he will get “saved”. Rather, get to know someone who IS a Christian and then marry.

You are not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14,1 John 1:6). So scripture is clear that you are to cut it off. Imagine a Christian spouse toying with the question, “Is it okay for me to commit adultery...maybe I'll pray about it?" Scripture makes it clear that you are never to commit adultery. In the same way, scripture makes it clear that you are not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. You don’t have to debate or pray about cutting it off. God has given you the manual (the Bible) to guide you and to light your path (Psalm 119:105).

And also remember that you have a real adversary (The Devil) who
seeks to devour and destroy you. There is a spiritual battle going on here (2 Cor 10:5, Eph 6:12).

I’m so glad you have emailed. I hope this has helped a bit.

Oh and when you get 33 minutes watch “180”. 8 American College age students are asked “Who is Adolf Hitler” and they don’t know. It had over a million views on Youtube in 1 month. I work for the maker of the documentary. I lead a team of people to University North Texas and Texas Women's University to pass out 180 DVD's last month (we gave out 1,000's in just under 6 hrs)...

Not everyone was happy though (The maker of the DVD (Ray Comfort) has a daily TV program. He shows what happened at TWU after a student watched the DVD):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86RE7VpIMKA&feature=player_embedded (forward to the 5 minute mark)



Al said...

Regarding missionary dating.

I would suggest that all women look at Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain). A young girls father disagreed with having his daughter dating him. However SC went to church a few times claimed a belief in Christ and fooled everyone. In SC's later life he was a bitter old man that confessed to his subtrafuge. Her faith and his lack of faith created conflict in the marriage. I don't advise it even though I came to know Christ after I dated my wife.

zilch said...

While differing religious beliefs can certainly cause problems in a relationship, it's hard to generalize. For instance, my wife is Catholic, and I'm an atheist, but we have no problem with that. Of course, from your point of view we're both infidels.

cheers from chilly Vienna, and Merry Christmas!

zilch said...

PS- Al, I saw on your profile that your favorite book was "Two Years Before the Mast". I loved that book too- it gives a fascinating picture of life in the English merchant marine, and also a glimpse of what the SF Bay Area, where I grew up, looked like before the Gold Rush.

If you're ever in Vienna, or near SF in the summer, drop me a line, and lunch is on me.

RebFusion said...

Trish, I agree with no dating him. But I don't agree with being his main witness either. If she truly cares for him, then she cares for his salvation over her "love" for him. She should be very straight forward about it, but instead of being his witness, find a brother who is solid in his faith to be this new potential brother's witness. Then, she should release any and ALL ideas and hopes she has had for a future with him. If God has a plan for the to be together, it will occur in God's timing. I let my boyfriend go. I "gave him to God" when I got saved, moved 2500 miles away, refused to speak to him for over a year, didn't date or make male friendships for the first year of my walk in obedience to a comittment I had made to my Lord, and 7 days after my year was up (little did I know) God moved my ex boyfriend to a nearby town. Several months later he appeared in my life, at my church, saved and serving God in our Worship ministry with me. Boy was that a shocker -- for both of us.....considering that we hadn't spoken for over a year, and when I had last seen him he was worshiping Satan and on drugs. And then, practically out of nowhere he was right in front of me, playing keyboard and singing while I sing and play guitar? Today we are married with a 7 1/2 year old son and we all love the Lord. GOD DOES AND IS AND WILL BE. BUT WE HAVE TO PUT ALL OF.......ALL OF PUR LIVES IN HIS HANDS. Let him go. Go on with your life. Don't look back. God has someone for you. And trust God. You only want the one that God has chosen for you. Don't waste your time with the wrong ones. Who he is today is NOT THE RIGHT GUY FOR HER. The man who is for her is waiting somewhere. If it will be him, then he has not been born yet (born again that is). Just hand him over to God and a reliable brother (and don't go asking about him) and move on.